What press tell about dating today.

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From the Press:

Your credit score counts when dating  /By Leslie Pappas Gannett News Service/

Mike Willis, 49, of Newark, N.J., says he doesn’t worry about money issues when he starts dating someone.

“There’s more to life than just money,” Willis says. “If I really care for someone, their financial situation shouldn’t change anything. We should be able to work that out.”

But money does matter, relationship experts say.

“Finances, if not No. 1, is one of the top three areas that couples fight about the most, along with sex and children,” says Jean-Philippe Laurenceau, a couples therapist and associate professor of psychology at the University of Delaware.

Still, money conversations can be awkward, especially early on.

“It’s a touchy subject, and people don’t want to get into it because it’s laden with emotion and family history,” says Laurenceau. “It’s not just the money; it’s what the money represents.”

So how early in the dating process should partners try to figure out whether they are financially compatible? The earlier the better, financial experts say.

“If you wait until after you’ve fallen madly in love, it may be too late to extricate yourself,” says Ginita Wall, a certified public accountant from San Diego and co-founder of the Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE.org).

“Early on you don’t have to actually talk about money, but look for money signs,” Wall says. “If you’re really looking for financial information, you can drop casual hints in conversation. Nobody will be the wiser, and you’ll get everything you want to know.”

There are some clever ways to learn about a date’s “money personality” -- and a lot more -- without coming right out and saying, “So what’s your credit score?”

Talking about the past is a way to figure out whether two people are on the same page financially, experts say.

“Maybe talk about your first experience with money,” suggests Candace Bahr, an investment manager in Carlsbad, Calif. and a WIFE.org co-founder. “What was the first job you had? And why did you get that job?”

Day-to-day habits also reveal much about the way a person views money, says Nina Smith, founder of Queercents.com, a personal finance blog for the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community. Pay attention in the beginning, Smith says. “You’re so smitten usually when you first start dating someone; you kind of overlook red flags.”

What are they spending their money on, she asks, $3 coffees or do-at-home drip? Are they a brand snob at the grocery store or do they clip coupons?

Take a look also at how a person pays for purchases -- cash? debit? credit?

Credit card use is one of the most vital pieces of information in understanding a person’s financial habits, says Joe Capaldi Jr., a mortgage broker and president of Mortgage Plus Corp. in Middletown, Del., who probes his clients on the issue. How many credit cards does the person carry? How often do they use them? And what kind are they?

“If you’re so into credit cards that you’ve got designer ones, that, to me, is somebody using it more than they probably should,” Capaldi says.

Capaldi looks at his client’s lifestyle to see if it makes financial sense. A person’s choice of car, clothes and home are obvious conversation starters.

“You could probably get into the savings subject just by talking about housing,” Capaldi says. Where do they live? Do they rent? Own? Have roommates? And why did they choose that neighborhood?

The point is not to date the best money manager, of course, but to find the best match.

“Some people like to spend money,” says Wall. “They ought to be with people who like to spend money.”