• He talks about his ex-girlfriend throughout the date. He’s still hung up on her. He could still be in love with her (maybe they just broke up and he’s on the rebound) or he’s still carrying bitterness and resentment that could prevent you from having a healthy relationship.

• He doesn’t offer to pay for the first date (or the second, or third…). Is he using you to get a free meal? Even if he’s short on cash, he could still be creative in asking you out on a date that doesn’t require a lot of money—a picnic, a walk in the park, or even just calling you and talking.

• He speaks badly about his mother or ex-girlfriends. This guy is clearly unable to appreciate what the women in his life have done for him. What makes you think he won’t be saying things about you after your relationship’s over, or even worse, has this subconscious and impossible standard of what a perfect woman should be? You just don’t need that pressure.

• He treats the waiters and/or staff rudely, or doesn’t tip. You deserve a gentleman who knows how to treat other people with respect an courtesy.

• Poor hygiene. Bad breath, wrinkly clothes, foul odor? Not exactly the kind of guy you can imagine being really intimate with.

• He still lives with his mother. Basically it means she may have a lot of emotional hold over him, or that he doesn’t have the financial security or sense of independence to get his own place. Not good signs.

• He talks about himself all the time. If he’s self centered now, when he’s supposed to be doing his best to impress you, imagine how obnoxious he’ll be months into your relationship and he’s dropped all pretensions altogether?

• He keeps looking at your breasts. At least you know what he’s really interested in.

• He makes racist or sexual jokes. A man with real breeding and respect for other people wouldn’t even find that funny.

• He shows off that he’s rich, talks about how much money he has, and tries to keep steering the conversation towards his power, wealth, or influence. It’s one thing to meet a successful man, and another thing to meet a man who is in love with his success.

• He assumes you think he’s attractive, and thinks every other woman in the room is looking at him. The nerve!

• He reveals too much too soon. He may be emotionally needy, and is really just looking for someone to mother him.

• He looks at other women during your date. Not even done with the first date, and already “cheating” on you?

He may be a nice guy who you just didn’t feel the right chemistry with, or a really horrible and annoying person who you can’t stand to be with. In either case, it just won’t work out, and there’s no purpose in prolonging the agony. Here are some tips of nicely (but firmly) saying no:
• Thank him for the date. If he asks for another one, gently but clearly say that you don’t feel there is any chemistry. There’s no other way but to spell it out in this way; men aren’t good at those subtle clues like talking about seeing other men or still being in love with your ex-boyfriend (a desperate ploy many women use to get rid of a bad date). It’ll only make him feel that he just has to try harder (and some of them will want you even more because of that).
• Don’t say “let’s just be friends” unless you really enjoy his company and can see yourself hanging out with him with no romantic strings attached.
• Don’t give a goodnight kiss. Manners don’t require it, and besides, it can send out the wrong signals.